It's too early

I can't believe I am wide awake in the middle of the night. This is going to make the day VERY long. Hopefully, I'll be able to get back to sleep. I have a sinus infection (I think-nurses are so bad at diagnosing themselves) and I am so congested that I am having a hard time sleeping. I got up with the intention of sleeping in my recliner, but now I can't fall asleep. I figured I would take advantage of the quiet and my ability to freely type. Lately, if there isn't a cat in my lap, then Jeremy is there. Sometimes, both Lucky (the cat) and Jeremy occupy my lap at the same time. I try to take advantage of those times that Jeremy wants to snuggle. Being only 5'1", I don't have a very big lap, so I don't know how much longer Jeremy is going to fit into it. I also don't know how much longer he is going to want to snuggle.

When I last updated, I was getting ready to take Rachael to a friends house. That turned into quite the adventure. The sleepover was at the married sister of Rachael's friend. This married sister also happened to be the director of the Savior of the World play. Her sister, Rachael's friend, was converted because of her sister's involvement in the play. I thought that was cool. She lives in Lakeway, which is about 20 minutes north west of Austin. It is a beautiful community out by Lake Travis.

I really should have listened to the little voice inside my head before we left that said "get better directions". Initially, I only had an address, but the community was not on Google maps yet. We then got directions from a teenager who doesn't drive. There are a few non-driving teenagers who can give good directions. Rachael's friend Megan is one of those. This was not one of those. We are driving on Hwy 620, looking for the street into the subdivision on the left hand side of the road. They are all well marked. We go completely through Lakeway and beyond. When we reach Mansfield Dam, I tell Rachael to call and see if we are suppose to be this far. We aren't. She gives us more detailed directions from where we are. As we get back into Lakeway, Rachael says to look for the entrance of the subdivision on the left. Wait a minute-it was suppose to be on the left the first time, so shouldn't it be on the right now? We call back and she says the entrance will definitely be on the left. I had not paid any attention to the right hand side of the road on our way through Lakeway. I also discovered that she gave me the name of the subdivision and not the street name, even though she gave street names for every other turn we were suppose to make. The subdivision name was hard to see because there were cars blocking it at the stop light. We did finally get there and Rachael had a great time at her sleepover. They stayed up all night. She couldn't be pranked my Andy this time either. He was at a scout campout and he didn't know how to get to this house anyway. He has pranked almost every sleepover Rachael has been at since they started liking each other.

After I finally got Rachael where she needed to be, it was almost 8pm. Jeremy and I were going to meet Stan for dinner. We ate at Jason's and got done at 9pm. We let Jeremy get a game at Hollywood video. We used some of the disability back pay to get a Wii for the family, so we picked up a Wii game. We also got a Wii Fit for the family recently. That has been a blast. I really need to be better at doing it every day. The activities really do give you a lot of exercise and I can do a lot of them. The balance exercises have been great at improving my stability. That is one of the biggest reasons I wanted the Wii and the Wii Fit. Some of the balance exercises are exactly like the ones I did at physical therapy. They are way more fun that the home program exercises they gave me. I think I'll let the Wii Fit become my physical therapist for now.

I have been given an award. My sweet friend, Corine, gave me this award. Corine recently moved to Hawaii. Her blog is so much fun to read. She is a way better writer than I am. She really should write a book. She said she would if she got 403 people to comment on a specific entry. Go to her blog and check out that entry and leave her a comment. I would love to see her write that book that I know she has in her. You can find that entry here.


Speaking of books, I have spent way too much time reading lately. I have a hard time being a casual reader. When I start a book, I let it suck me in. I don't get anything done until the book is finished. That is why I will go months without reading a book even though I love to read. My current favorite author is Stephanie Meyer. I started off with her Twilight books. I had the first 3 from my SIL. I read them in about 2 weeks, but only because I took a few days off in between books. I bought the 4th one the day it came out. They were fabulous. I just finished her other book "The Host" on Saturday night. I was up until 1am finishing it. I was sobbing like a baby all through the last few chapters. It is amazing I could read through the tears. Then she played a mean trick on the readers. The book ends, then there are about 3 blank pages, THEN she puts the epilogue. I really thought it ended in that sad way. I could understand 1 blank page, but 3!!! I almost closed the book, but there were so many pages after the end. I though they might be a bio about the author, but I checked them out anyways and was glad I did.

So, if you are looking to get completely wrapped up in some good books and completely ignore your chores and your family (not really), then there are 5 Stephanie Meyer books I can recommend to you. The Twilight books are pretty well known, but I don't know how many people have heard of The Host. Check it out. You won't regret it.

Tagged again

I have been tagged so many times lately that I can't even keep up with it anymore. The past 3 tags have been repeats of tags I have done in the past 3 months, so I didn't do them. Sorry. One of the designers I CT for tagged me with this one. This one is completely different from anything I have done before so I thought it would be interesting to do this one. This tag is called Pregnancy Bumps.

Preggy Facts:

1. Who did you first inform about your pregnancy and how?
All 4 times I told my husband first. I was boring and just called him to tell him. The next person I called was probably my mom. I remember with my 2nd and 3rd pregnancy, I also called my best friend, Lisa. We tried for a year to get pregnant with our second child only to have my 2nd pregnancy end in miscarriage at 7 weeks, but I got pregnant again very fast.

2. Maximum weight?
I won't tell you my weight, but I gained 38# with the 1st, 13 # with the 3rd and 60# with 4th pregnancy

3. Cravings?
1-Coffee rolls from Dunkin Donuts
3-grapes
4-nothing specific

4. Aversions?
1-baked potatoes-I didn't eat them for 5 years after that pregnancy
3-anything sweet
4-it was something different every week it seemed

5. Morning Sickness?
yes, but mild and stopped by the 13th week

D Day Facts:
1. Number of Kids/Deliveries?
3 children, 4 pregnancies

2. NSD or CS?
All 3 were normal vaginal deliveries. All 3 were natural childbirth.

3. Girl or Boy?
girl, boy, boy

4. AOG (age of gestation) on Birth?
34 weeks after 1 week of bedrest in the hospital
36 weeks after 6 weeks of bedrest and in the hospital 4 times
37 weeks after 14 weeks of bedrest and in the hospital 9 times

5. How long in labor?
I am not counting all of the times I was in preterm labor. I am only counting the time I spent in labor that lead to my actual delivery.
1-3 hours
2-miscarriage at 7 weeks
3-4 hours
4-1 hour

I'll try to post an update later. I need to get ready to take Rachael to a friends house for a sleepover.

Savior of the World

The youth of our Stake just finished putting on the play, Savior of the World, last week. It was a pretty incredible experience. I was back stage quite a bit during rehearsal and then during the dress rehearsal and the first performance. I got to see the entire play in it's completion on Saturday with Stan and the boys. It was so good. I was in tears off and on throughout the entire play. The girl who played Mary was so talented. The music was beautiful.

Here is a layout I did with a few of the photos I took this past week. Some of them were taken by other people throughout the month during rehearsals. The youth started working on this in November, so a lot of time went into this production. I'm glad I was only our ward's coordinator and I wasn't in charge of the entire thing. It was a little overwhelming just to help. It is something I will never forget though.

Things are getting a little better with my health. My MS seems to have stabilized, at least for now. I never know when it will show it's ugly head. I am hoping I have been on the Avonex long enough that I won't have a flare for quite a while. There are people on Avonex that don't have flares for 2 years. I can only hope for that. I haven't gone more than a few months without a flare so far.

I went to the orthotics place last week. I had to get fitted for a new AFO for my left foot. I also tried out the Walk-aid while I was there. It worked this time. I couldn't get one though. When they called me in April to try it out, they told me that insurance companies were paying for them now. When I went last week to get fit, they told me that a few insurance companies were paying for them, but I would have to get pre-authorization, then I would have to pay for it myself and then get reimbursed by my insurance company. I was so upset with them. Each device is $5,000, and I need two, one for each leg. Who knows how long that is going to take. Hopefully one day that will be the treatment of choice for foot drop rather than the AFO I currently have to wear to keep my foot from dragging.

My diabetes is getting more under control. I have been really careful with my diet. I am still on insulin, but I am hoping I can try diet only when I see the endocrinologist in 2 weeks. My PCP wanted me to decrease my insulin from 4 units to 2 units and my body didn't like that sudden drop in the dose. I went down to 3 units for a while and then decreased it to 2 units after my blood sugars were normal for close to a week. I have been on 2 units for 2 days. My blood sugars have been elevated today, but I'll give them another day or two before I go back up to 3 units. I have been so tempted to see how I do without any insulin at all, but I should probably listen to doctor's orders.

The kids are all doing well. We started school back up again. They aren't really thrilled about that. Rachael is doing driver's ed. We are half way through the first section, then she can get her permit. We need to add her to the insurance first though. She is also registered for dance classes again. She is going to be a teaching assistant in a 5-6 year old basic combo class. She is really excited about this. Andrew has been talking about playing a sport this year, but he doesn't know which one. Stan is going to start doing some training on his bike. He wants to be able to ride from San Antonio to Corpus Christie next year for the MS bike ride. Andrew wants to start riding with him in the morning when he does. I think it will be really good for him and give him and Stan a chance for some time together. It will also give Andrew something besides video games to focus on. Jeremy is his same happy self, although he and Andrew have been fighting more than ever. I guess that is what brother's do.

Officially disabled

I have been struggling to deal with my own disability since the beginning. At first, it was hard to accept that I may be permanently disabled. As time went on, it was obvious the disability was permanent. However, then the long term disability company denied my disability not once, but twice. Their basis for denial was that I had no diagnosis. I even called them back once I got a diagnosis and they wouldn't allow me to reapply unless I had gone back to work. Seton wouldn't let me go back to work because I was no longer capable of doing my job. I was stuck. The disability company said I was able to do my job and my employer says I was not able to do my job. That left me wondering if maybe I could do more than I thought I could. I wondered if maybe I could work in a doctors office again. Then I thought of how I felt when I had a very busy day. I was never as busy as I would be if I worked 8 hours. I was useless the next day if I had a very busy day. I could only work one day before I would need one off. That wouldn't work. Plus, some days are better than others. It was an internal struggle. I really needed to start owning my disability.

It took me a while to apply for state disability. Part of it was because I didn't have the energy to fight. I had heard story after story of people having to fight for their disability. I had also heard of many stories of people getting their disability approved yet they were perfectly capable of working. I decided in April to go ahead and apply. I was prepared to get denied the first time. I was prepared to have to hire a lawyer and appeal the decision.

I got a call yesterday. Andrew tells me it is the disability people. My stomach jumped in my throat. She told me that my disability had been approved. I was shocked. She proceeded to process the application for my children over the phone. I had no idea my children would get benefits too. They each get money sent each month to be used for food, clothing, etc. For now, we are going to put that money in a savings account and use it only when we have to. We can save for college, and then use it if something big comes up such as one of them needing braces or something like that. The best part is that they are going to pay 1 years back pay. After we get that, we are paying off our car and we will be completely debt free except our house payment. I still can't believe it.

It is a huge weight off my shoulders to know that my family will be taken care of financially. I didn't ask to have MS. Prior to this MonSter moving into my body, I took care of my family physically, emotionally and financially with the help of my husband. I can still take care of them emotionally and physically, but I can't take care of them financially any more. With inflation, it is very hard to be a single income family anymore. Even within the church where it is more common to stay home, more and more moms are having to work part time to help make ends meet. I have always dreamed of being a stay at home mom and now is my time. I am so grateful that my prayers have been answered.

I'm much better

It has been quite a while since I updated this blog. Things are going much better for me know. I had to do IV then oral steroids for my MS flare. I have finished both now. I can move my toes, but my left foot is still weak and I still have the foot drop. I am walking better though. I am a lot slower that I used to be and I have had to move to a quad cane. I was thinking I was going to have to start using a walker though, so I am grateful for the quad cane. The week of girls camp, I actually ditched the cane and was able to walk without it for about 2 weeks. I guess it was 1 step forward and 2 steps back. I'm not sure if I can still expect some improvement or it this is as good as it is going to get. I'll see Dr Westgate in about 9 days, so I will ask her about it then. In addition to the foot drop on my left, I have increased spasticity on the right. I have had the spasticity for quite a while, but it got worse with the flare. Along with the steroid treatment came steroid induced diabetes. Right now, we are just monitoring my blood sugars. I am getting more and more normal levels the longer I have been off steroids. About half of my levels are higher than the normal range, but they are getting closer to normal every day. My last really high level was on Thursday when it was 209. Today, my high was 141, so much better than 209. I hope they continue to get better. I would hate to have to add diabetes to my MS. I will know to watch my blood sugars a lot closer the next time I have to do steroids. I wish I could say there wouldn't be a next time, but that isn't exactly realistic.

I have a new niece. Emily had her baby on Wednesday morning. My new niece is Katelyn Emily. She was 7 pounds 4 ounces. Emily brought her down to see grandma today. Stan took the kids over there to see the new baby. I had a migraine, so I stayed home. Here are Rachael and Jeremy with Katelyn. Andrew has never been that interested in babies, so I doubt he got too close to her. Jeremy LOVES babies.

The MonSter strikes again

I am officially having my second major MS flare this year. I was sitting in my recliner with my feet up, doing some designing on Tuesday. I noticed that both of my feet were asleep. I always have some numbness and tingling to my right lower leg, but this was a lot worse than usual. I started moving my legs around to "wake" them up. I noticed that the toes on my left foot wouldn't move and I had a foot drop on the left. I had to calm myself down. I could feel the "freak out" building within me. I went and layed down on my bed for a few minutes to figure out what I was going to do. DUH!!! I need to call the doctor. I don't know why it took me 20 minutes to think of that. I had just seen the neuro last week and she went on and on about how good I looked. I went back into the doctor yesterday. When I saw her last week, she discussed the possibility of this being Devic's syndrome since I have had so many episodes of optic neuritis. She ordered an antibody test for Devic's. This antibody shows up in 70% of Devic's patients. She also wants to repeat the MRI of my spine. We are hoping something will show up at some point, but I am not holding my breath. It will probably be normal again. Most people pray for normal results, but not me. I am past that. I just want something to show up to give us proof of what is going on. I want to be able to say "nanny, nanny boo boo" to all of those doctors that said there was nothing wrong with me.

Tomorrow, I will start IV steroids again. I have to do 5 days this time, then do a 9 day oral taper. I am not looking forward to this. I just had to talk to the insurance company about this. The home health company told me they were denying to authorize this because I had already had it this year. When I called the insurance company, what they actually needed was clinical symptoms. All they had was that it was an MS exacerbation. I told them my symptoms and they said that met the criteria so it should be approved soon. Having to do the steroids is bad enough, but having to fight to be able to do them is awful. It's not like this is something that makes you feel good. Who would want this if they didn't absolutely need it?!? I should be able to start the steroids as scheduled tomorrow morning. I now need to pray really hard that it works and I get my sensation and movement back. I really don't want to have to wear an AFO on both legs.

Girls camp

We have survived another year at camp. It was challenging, but worth it. Things started to go downhill on Saturday. Our van bit the dust Saturday evening. I was suppose to drive to and from camp. We found out that the stake did not need my van to take girls and we arranged other drivers for the drive home on Saturday. First hurdle crossed. Dad was here visiting and leaving for Alabama on Monday morning. He drove Aashlie and me out to camp on Monday. It was nice to ride with him and get a few extra time to talk. Stan and Bryon got the van working on Monday for a fraction of the cost as it would have cost at a garage.

When I got to camp on Monday, the camp director told me that I would not have a golf cart to use this year because it was broken. I almost freaked. I explained to her that I needed to be able to get to the girls if they are injured. Plus, I was only able to go to camp because I had access to the cart to get around. I don't have the stamina or the range of motion in my leg to be able to walk all over the place. I spoke with Sis Toler and Sis Hollingsworth about the issue and they spoke with the head camp director. They borrowed a golf cart from another camp and had it to me by Tuesday afternoon. I let it charge and started driving it after dinner. It was good timing too because not long after that one of the Kyle Stake girls slipped on the gravel and injured her ankle. I thought it was broken. After going to the ER and getting an x-ray, it was badly sprained. She wanted to stay, but was in too much pain by the next day so she went home. They also came and told me on Wednesday night that I could not be in the cart after dark. I explained to them that I had girls with injuries that needed to be brought back up from the amphitheater and our schedule was already set so that we did not get back up until after 10pm each night. I told her that I would be very careful and would only use the cart after dark to get the girls back up to their camp sites and then for emergencies. She said that was fine, but then a sign showed up on my cart on Friday afternoon stating the carts could not be used after 9pm. I talked to the camp person that was placed in charge of our group and he said to just use it. Sherri and Kris were going to discuss this with them when they settled things for next year. I want to be prepared for next year. If I am not going to have access to the cart to get girls up from the amphitheater after dark, I need to know about that. I will have to arrange something else. I am going to have to trust in the Lord that he will arrange things to work out. In total, I sent 2 girls to the ER, one for stitches in addition to the ankle injury. I also almost had to call EMS when one of the leaders broke out in hives and was having a little bit of wheezing. I gave her 50mg of Benadryl and things started improving after about 15 minutes. If at any point she had told me she was feeling worse, then I would have called EMS. It was scary.

There were lots of girls that were dehydrated, had heat exhaustion and were depleted of electrolytes. It was a lot of work having 2 stakes of girls there. I ran non stop the entire week. The Kyle stake was on a different schedule that we were, so I got calls on my cell phone during the testimony meeting, during a fireside and during the Hill Country ward skit. Some of them were for very simple things because they were us at the cafeteria and that is when the girls go to the office for the simple things. It was embarrassing for my phone to go off in the middle of a spiritual moment though. I know everyone understood though. They knew I wasn't just getting calls from friends. They knew it was a call to take care of someone. If it hadn't been my cell phone, it would have been the walkie-talkie.
Here is a picture of Rachael when she got back from her hike. I didn't notice that her eyes were closed. DARN!!! She had a great time on her hike. They went rock climbing and she loved that. During the hiking part, they hiked in 3.5 miles, set up camp and did dinner. They made pasta with alfredo sauce. I never ate that well on a camping trip. When they were hiking back out, the girls were exhausted and over heating. They sent the priesthood back to get the girls with the truck. Rachael was getting close to the end and refused to get into the truck. She said Andy would never let her live it down if she didn't finish the hike. He would have called her a wimp. She did the entire hike with her pack on the entire way. I was told she never complained. She had a few blisters when she got back. She didn't break her boots in before the trip. She had lots of bug bites as usual and she was really tired, but she would do it again in a heart beat. She is already planning on doing the hike when Aashlie does her 4th year hike. Now that she is officially a JC, she is planning on doing the 1st years next year and she wants to be Jessica's JC and then be Aashlie's JC on her 4th year. She is going to make a great JC. Sis Leese was excited that she was finally "hers". She is going to be a pro since she has been there on Monday the past 2 years.

Here is Rachael just before the carnival on Thursday. They had the 4th years leading the girls with songs while the rest of the JCs got things ready for the carnival. Rachael said the other girls didn't want to listen to the 4th years since they weren't really JCs. She was good though. She got really into the songs while she was leading them. She even lost her voice because she was trying to sing above all of them.

This is Rachael's new boyfriend. In the carnival, they did "pin the tag on the missionary". They had some games that were church related such as this one and name the church song, "Who said" where you had to say which prophet said each thing and lots of others. They got a punched ticket for that. They had other games such as bowling, tattoos, piercings, hoola-hoop, etc. They got non punched tickets with that. They periodically took girls out of the carnival. Those girls were "dead". If they had piercings or tattoos, they had to remove them and repent. If they had at least 15 punched tickets, they got to go on to the iron rod (a rope strung tight between the trees). They were dressed in white and blindfolded while they walked along the iron rod. Along the way, they had some of the JCs trying to trick the girls into letting go of the iron rod. Vanessa Sellers was one of the tempters. She convinced Rachael to let go of the rod because there was a big ant hill in front of her. There wasn't one there, but Rachael let go just in case. She had to repent to get back to the iron rod. It was a neat activity. I didn't go the iron rod, but I really enjoyed listening to the girls all talk about their experiences. At the end, there was a tree covered with white Christmas lights for the Tree of Life. The girls got these ornaments made from tissue paper pressed into a picture of the Salt Lake Temple. They were so fragile though. Most of the girls had theirs rip before they even got them back to their tents. I don't know how anyone got them home. The JCs sang some songs from Jenny Phillips that went with this years theme. Our theme was "Walk in his Path". The Kyle stakes theme was "Shine like a Star" or something like that. The songs actually fit with both themes.

It has become a tradition for Rachael and I to have our picture taken together after the water fight. We did this one before either one of us got wet. Right after that, Rachael dumped a cup of ice water over my head. Most of the girls didn't stick around for the water fight. After the certification relay, they were allowed to swim so most of them took off for the pool. I was disappointed there wasn't much of a water fight. They had the water slide again. Sis DeLeon tried to go down it but she didn't get a good enough run. The girls had to pull her down the slide. It was really funny.

Thanks for reading through my very long post. A lot happened last week and I only scratched the surface. It was a long, hot week with lots of trials but lots of joy. Give me a week to recover and I will be ready to go back. Somehow, the Lord takes care of me when I am at camp. I have fewer MS symptoms while I am at camp. The foot drop is still there, but the pain is gone and the fatigue is better. I actually didn't have to use my cane all last week. I lost my balance a few times, and I tripped once and bruised up my knee badly. I wonder if I would have fallen if I had been using my cane. I'll never know.

Corrine tagged me with a photo tag. I am too tired to do it right now so I will do it later. I promise I won't clean anything up before I take the pictures.