I almost forgot

I almost forgot to post about my weight loss milestone this past week.  I have hit the 70 pound lost mark.  Actually, I am down 72 pounds.  I have about 25 pounds to go.  Here is a photo of me at 247 pounds.  I took it the day I started Ideal Protein.  My "BEFORE" picture.

Here is a picture I took the other day at Target when I tried on this dress. I wasn't sure of  how it looked on my, especially the stripes, so I sent Stan a picture for his opinion.  It is a size medium.  The clothes I am wearing in the above photo are a size 2XL top and a size 22 jeans.  I kept this entire outfit so when I am done, I can put it on and everyone can see how I will drown in it.  I am currently wearing a medium in most things, especially tops and loose fitting dresses or full skirts, and large in some things , like pants, especially if  they have a zipper.  Birthing 3 babies gave me big hips and a genetics gave me a big butt.  If it is a number size for pants, I need a 14.  I am aiming for a size 10 or 12.  I think losing 25 more pounds will  easily do that, especially since some of my 14s are starting to get a little bit bigger in the waist.  It's just the butt and the legs that are still more fitted.

The stripes going in 2 different direction give this dress a strange look at my waist.  You can see my baby fat in the photo around my lower abdomen (from having babies, not being a baby) but you can see it because I am wearing my swim suit and it actually made that  part of my body stand out rather than acting like a girdle like I though it would.  It is much more flattering without the swimsuit under it.  You can also tell a lot in my blog photo.  My face looks so thin compared to my before photo.  After I  get out of the hospital, I want to take some better current photos.  I'm not going to  take the photos with my old fat clothes util I  have lost all the weight I  want to.  Also, Rachael and I can wear the same size tops, but not the same size pants.  I have a bigger butt than she does.  She has bigger boobs than I do though.

With the swallowing problems I have had this weekend, I have had more sugar in the last 5 days than I have eating in the last 5 months.  I have eaten about 10 containers of pudding since I've been in the hospital.  I got a bunch of Ideal Protein pudding and had Andrew pick it up today so I won't be having all that sugar so much.  I have to take my medication mixed in pudding or apple sauce, both have lots of sugar and I have to  eat a lot of soft foods, so i am getting a lot of puddings and yogurts with my meals.

I am finally ready to fall asleep I think.  I  have been up most of the night with pain in my legs and just general can't  sleep because I am in the hospital.

Where did those muscles come from?

I have been in physical therapy for the years and years, mostly for my legs, especially my right leg.  It has been paralyzed multiple times.  With lots of PT and IVIG, I regain my ability to walk at least some.  I've had paralysis in every extremity in my body at some point over the last 10 years.  The majority of the exercise I get come from PT exercises and a recombant bike at a slow pace for 20-30 minutes most days.  These are not the kind of work outs that can make a person sore.  This is why I was very surprised when just a day of rehab made me very, very sore.  I started getting a little sore after my first 2 hours of PT/OT yesterday.  We did core work almost exclusively.  I took some Tylenol and felt better.  This morning though, I was very sore.  My back and obliques hurt a lot.  It's not my normal back pain.  My abs hurt too.  I guess that is what happens when those muscles are paralyzed for a few days, then have to be strengthened.  I feel like I did 500 sit ups.  I guess the soreness is worth it is because my trunk is stronger today than it was yesterday.  I can hold myself up for several minutes before I start to drift.  Do you know what the worst thing about being sore is?  Being in the hospital, I am limited to what the doctor orders for pain and they only ordered Tylenol every 8 hours.  Who gives Tylenol every 8 hours?  I need to get this changed as soon as I  see Dr. Latorre in the morning.

Big leaps forward, then 1 step back

I will warn you THIS POST CONTAINS MANY TMI STATEMENTS SO READ AT YOUR OWN RISK
I know that  is not how the saying  goes, but I  feel as though I took  more than  steps forward for my little step back  today.  My sleep was really off last night despite Dr. Latorre having me on scheduled sleeping pill.  I've never taken a sleeping pill regularly, or even as needed.  I've taken Ambien once and that knocked me on my backside.  I got 1 Ambien tab before I left the hospital after going in for preterm labor and getting a bunch of shots to stop it (the shots make you very jittery).  I don't remember getting  home, and then I slept for 22 hours straight except for stumbling to the bathroom  every few hours (I was pregnant)  Because of that experience, I shy away from sleeping pills.  However, Dr Latorre (my rehab Dr in case you don't remember) wants to make sure I am getting adequate sleep so he  has ordered a sleeping pill to be given every night.  Last night, not even that was enough because I kept waking up to pee   When you can't walk to the  bathroom and you have to use a catheter to pee, this can take quite a while and can result in being wide awake when you are done.  Despite being careful not to drink too much after 8pm, I had to pee 3 times last night.  Sometimes it was a lot and sometimes it wasn't.  Then I started itching a lot which is one of my annoying MS symptoms so I put lotion on the effected areas, benadryl cream and finally just asked for some oral benadryl.  I had 3 bouts of sleep that were 2-3 hours each.  I was not ready to wake up.

Now this am, when the nurse took my am vitals, my BP was 100/56.  For those of you who are not medical, this is a low BP.  It I  was someone who was walking, it could have made me faint when I stood up out of  bed.  Since I was moving to the wheel chair, that wasn't a problem.  We did hold my diuretic which keeps my legs from swelling because I am in the wheelchair all the time.  I had some dizziness during PT a short time later and my heart rate was pretty fast, like 120.   My BP was good after a few hours of drinking a lot of fluids. My HR has been up most of the day, higher than my norm of 95-105.  I kept having to pee really frequently though but only had small amounts.  Usually I can only tell if my bladder is full when I have more than 750cc of urine in there but this am it was 200-300cc and I felt like I was going to burst.  A urine culture has been sent but the urninalysis was normal so we will just have to see how the culture comes out.

While all of this was happening this morning, I started having some muscle spasms again.  I would have been perfectly happy if they never came back and they took my pump out. This is one of  the biggest reasons all my doctors and  I were sure I had a UTI. No change in dose on my pump today.  We will see what happens with my spasms today.  I did get the OK to do  my bed to chair transfers alone today, but I can't go to the bathroom by myself.

I my speech and cognitive therapy today, I was given the game Luminosity on the tablet as my homework assignment.  It was challenging but I was surprised to find out when it scored me that I did better than 20-39% of the people who are my age

Spiritual weekend

This weekend was a wonderful, spiritual weekend.  We had stake conference this weekend.  For those of you who are not LDS, stake conference is a conference for  a group of congregations, also known as wards, that make up a stake.  Stakes are kinda like a school district.  There is usually about 10 wards in a stake.  We all meet together and listen to our stake leaders speak to us.  We have them twice a year.  This conference, we had a visiting general authority from Salt Lake.  He was a member of the Quorum of the 70's.  His name is Elder Hamula.  He is an excellent speaker.  The  purpose of a 70 is to testify of Jesus Christ.  He did exactly that when he spoke and I could feel the spirit of the Holy Ghost testify to me so strongly of the truthfulness of the gospel.  I'm so grateful that I have the gift of the Holy Ghost to be my constant companion.  I am also grateful for the knowledge that my Heavenly Father loves me.  It makes these challenges I have to endure a little easier at times.  I'm not as likely to lash out at God even though I get frustrated at the never ending pain.

My most recent frustration is lack of sleep and daily fatigue.  I fall asleep all day long while I try to do things around the house and in my daily like.  Many of the things I fall asleep doing are not very safe to fall asleep during such as driving my wheelchair, cooking showering, washing dishes, sewing, standing and just about any other way you can imagine.  I broke my ankle on January 1st by falling asleep on the edge of the bathtub and falling over.  I rolled over with my entire weight on my foot and bent my ankle in half.  I had to have plates put in my ankle.  I spent 4 weeks in the hospital after that fall between complications after surgery and rehab.  I broke my ankle on my good leg, so I had to have a lot of rehab.  I'm not anxious to repeat that again.

My neurologist referred me to a sleep specialist last week.  I think I see 7 specialists on a regular basis now.  .On Wednesday, I had a 45 minute consult with the sleep specialist.  She is going to test me for sleep apnea.  She thinks I might have central sleep apnea from the MS.  I may not be breathing deeply enough to be getting enough oxygen at night because the proper signal is not getting from my brain to my airway.  She said it is a little more challenging to treat but it is treatable.  I have to have a sleep study done.  I am just waiting on insurance to authorize the sleep study.  She also put me on some medication during the day to keep me awake so I am not falling asleep in unsafe situations.  I"m still working on finding the right dosage, but I noticed a big difference even with the dose not being right.  I hope she can figure out what is causing my sleep problems.  I'm tired of not sleeping well  I rarely sleep more than 2 hours at a time at any given time.