Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Already missed

Well, I was planning on posting at least once a week, but I've already missed.  I have a good reason though.  My monster of a disease, also known as multiple sclerosis, has shown it's ugly head again.  I was really hopeful that the Copaxone I have been switched to would be effective faster than expected, but that is not to be the case.  I am currently having  the worst MS flare I have ever had.  It started 10 days ago.  I woke up with my hip flexors feeling a little weak.  I could still walk normally, but I felt it when I stepped up.  It just seemed to take a little extra effort.  This was the Friday before Easter.  We had a normal Easter weekend, including an Easter egg hunt on Saturday.  Things were still  the same on Monday when I went to physical therapy.  I asked my therapist about it and he assessed my hip strength and he said it was just a little  bit weak.  He gave me soeme exercises to start doing at home.  Tuesday brought more weakness though.  I sent my neuro an email about it and by the time she got back with me, my entire right leg from the hip down was paralyzed.  I can't even take a step on my own now.  I was so not ready for this.  My neuro got me started on IV solumedrol right away.  However, it didn't help at all this time.  I usually get 50% or more of my function back from the IV steroids.  I didn't get anything back this time.  I'm on an oral taper right now and still  no improvement.  I have to go get an MRI tomorrow.  I'm hoping they can find where the problem in on the MRI.  I'm also hoping they can do something about it.  I can take a few steps if I pick up my leg by my pant leg and make it step.  Other wise, I'm stuck in a wheel chair.  I'm grateful that I have access to a handicapped van, wheel chair, walker, etc without having to wait to get all of that stuff.  My mother in law left her handicapped van to us when she passed away.  Stan's grandma has been using it for the past 2 years.  I feel bad we had to take it back from her, but Beth wanted to make sure I had it if I needed it.  I'm trying to cope the best I can, but it has been really hard.  I will be the first to admit that I am scared.  I'm scared I'm going to be in a wheel chair for the rest of my life.  I don't  feel  like I can take care of my family the way I want to either.  I'm glad my kids are older and can help me out around  the house.  I don't want to put extra stress on them.  I'm suppose to be the mom and I'm suppose to take care of them.  They are my life and I love them dearly.

Rachael is getting ready to officially graduate.  She won't have an actual graduation since she is homeschooled, but she will be considered graduated.  She has been taking some classes at ACC for the last 2 years.  She will start college with 26 credit hours.  We went to a local art museum with a beautiful garden a few weeks ago and took some great pictures for her senior pictures.  They turned out so good.  I'm pleased with my work, if I do say so myself.  I"ve been trying to load them onto FB, but I keep getting an error message.  I"m going to try to put them on here now and see if I can get them to load.  My daughter is so beautiful and she is so photogenic.  If she was taller, she would make a great model.  She isn't  interested in modeling though.  She only wants to dance.

Speaking of dance, her very last VIR show is this Saturday.  She has a solo in the show.  I"m really excited to see the show.  I love watching her dance.  If your in Austin and want to see a good show, it is at the Carver at 2pm and 7pm.

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